I’m a firm believer in supporting other women in the material handling / industrial equipment business. I feel that here in the south, it’s a male dominated business. It’s not that I have an issue with the unlimited amount of testosterone and masculinity…It’s actually when particular males have the combination of massive ego’s sprinkled with arrogance and ostentation. Forgive me, these traits can also be found in women as well. I’m not a feminist by all means. I love men. Where am I going with this rant?
I had an interview a couple of weeks ago. It was with another material handling business. A competitor of the company I currently work for. I have over ten years experience in the position they were hiring for. I perform 95% of what the position responsibilities are for that role. I also train people for the software that they currently have at their dealership. Maybe I sound conceited but I honestly thought that I would receive an offer. Unfortunately, I thought wrong.
There were two people interviewing me. A Service Manager (Male) as well as a Major Account Coordinator (Female). I was super excited to see the female Major Account Coordinator in the interview. Being a female I thought to myself “My people! Another female representin’!!! OMG, another chic, how fucking cool is this?”
It was a typical interview….
- What are your strengths?
- Let’s say you have an irate customer on the phone with an invoice issue, how do you handle that customer?
- You’re limited on the amount of technician’s you have working today and a customer needs service ASAP, what do you do?
I felt that I answered each question/scenario well with making eye contact and smiling. I was confident yet eager to learn more about the position. I asked questions and expressed how impressed I was with the company’s website and mentioned a few things in detail that I absorbed in studying their company. I asked what they enjoyed about their positions with the company. When she explained her position and her experience I was blown away. She had experience in Rentals, Parts, Service, and Sales. I complimented her and voiced to the service manager how much of an asset she is to his branch. All in all, I thought it went fantastic. I followed up with a thank you letter via e-mail.
Two days later I received the rejection letter. It was just a generic letter stating they chose someone with more experience. I was shocked and felt completely defeated. I kept thinking to myself “What the fuck did I say in that interview?” I kept retracing and analyzing the entire conversation in my mind. “I shouldn’t have said that.” “What did I say my weaknesses were?” Shaking my head over and over again, doubting myself. A million things running through my mind for days like how I’m inadequate, mediocre, lacking, etc. Rejection is a bitch isn’t it?
I got a phone call from an old co-worker yesterday. He wanted to catch up and tell me that he’s working somewhere new. Want to take a guess where he’s working at? Yes, you are correct, at the place I just had the interview at. Wait. He didn’t get the position I was applying for. He’s a technician there and has been there for about six months. He said he overheard a conversation with the female Major Account Coordinator and another technician. It went something like this…
“Lennon was a huge threat. The blonde hair, blue eyes, tons of experience, she even knew our software. For fuck’s sake, she was explaining how most forklift water pumps don’t come as an assembly but that you have to purchase the gasket separately. How could I compete with that? There’s no way I would allow him to hire her. She would take my job or any other female’s job here. All eyes would be on her. So I told ______ no way would I approve her coming on board.”
My heart sunk. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me when my old friend told me that he overheard that conversation. My mind screamed “Fuuuuuuucccckkkk! Really?”
She didn’t even give me a chance. If she knew me or even got to know me she would’ve realized that I’m that ride or die girl that will have your back no matter what. I would’ve supported her and the rest of the women. I would’ve had their backs and even became their confidante. I just wanted to be a Major Account Coordinator. I didn’t want to be the boss. I would be no threat at all.
Previous supervisors, management, and owners of businesses I’ve worked for have disclosed to me that I intimidate people. And it’s not just women. They’ve told me that I intimidate men as well. How? How do I intimidate people? That’s not my intentions at all. I just don’t get it. Is it because I’m confident? Because I smile? That I’m experienced in my profession? What do looks have anything to do with it???
I wanted to communicate or vent how it made me feel here on my blog. The best way to do that is to share this song with you that came to mind instantly….
Yep, I’m just what I wanna be most of the time. I’m confident. Yes, I have insecurities but I try to just ignore them. I guess the confident smile scares some people. That’s Okay, I’ll recover, develop and rise again. This time I will attempt to win an Oscar by faking meekness with a little timidness yet offer my experience and knowledge. I’ll try not to smile so much. I just felt so comfortable and at ease with both of them. I’m sad that I was way off on what I felt. But, lesson learned. That’s the thing….We need to take a step back sometimes and do the diligence of self improvement as hard as it is to admit. I am a work in progress and will continue to grow no matter what.